Meandering

Similar to how I live my life, I seem to have lost my way with this blog.  I was really into it for a while, and then went on a six month hiatus.  And I intended to make this a fashion and style blog, but it has ended up being more of my diary.  And I hope that is okay, because apparently I just need to get a few things off of my chest.  But I do intend to post lots of fashion and travel finds, you just might have to dig around for them.  

Nowhere to run to, baby, nowhere to hide...

I miss Italy. 

While a normal person can probably come up with hundreds of reasons to express this same thought, my reason, right now, is that I miss being anonymous.  Traveling has always provided me with this imagined shroud of anonymity.  I could be anyone, going anywhere, at any time.  For the past six months, though, I have just been me, but transplanted to a place where I don't know anyone and no one knows me.  And the peace and quiet that I found was beautiful.  I started sleeping at night (without Ambien, praise the Lord!), exercising voluntarily and laughing multiple times per day.  My mini-heart attacks and full blown panic attacks were a thing of the past.

Since I have returned, I have felt like a bit of a ticking time bomb.  I kept waiting for the neurotic me to return...and slowly, it has.  It started with a night of insomnia, here or there.  Then, I had a drunken and hysterical cry.  Then I started leaving boys' houses at insane hours of the morning because I was getting the antsy feeling.  And today's events have pushed me over the edge.  I might as well throw in the towel, I am a neurotic, American, half-baked Jew.  I will never be a strolling, calm, European woman.  Boo!  But back to the reason that I am back in my old habits...

After a depressing morning of job searching, I decided to do something proactive and activate my JDate profile.  (For those who are unfamiliar, JDate is a Jewish dating site).  I retired from JDate a while ago, but after a conversation with my sister, decided to give it another chance.  So, I logged on, updated my pictures, tweaked my profile.  Then I pushed the magic button and commanded the internet to "show me my matches!"  

First match, right there in the middle of my screen, my ex-husband.  I am fairly sure that my heart completely stopped beating, as I felt light-headed and queasy.   And then I morphed into Teresa from the Real Housewives of New Jersey and demonically started pounding on the table while reading off his profile...Spontaneous? As long as it doesn't interfere with scheduled sporting events! Adventurous? Is loving Taco Bell really that much of an adventure? Loves to travel? To where, Indiana?? A foodie? See the Taco Bell comment above!  A wine enthusiast?  Miller High Life, for the millionth time, is NOT wine!

And then I immediately went on the defense.  If I could see him, then, gasp, he could see me! I immediately disabled my profile while I called several consultants, i.e., my sister and roommate, to discuss.  My roommate said, do nothing, who cares? Hmmm, no, that's way too boring.  My sister said, interesting, does he look fat?  No help! I was clearly going to have to act independently, a course of action that always leads to disaster.

I took a deep breath, hesitantly logged on, and made sure that my profile looked okay.  And then I started composing a light, breezy email to S.  Ah, the challenge of writing something that is supposed to sound the exact opposite of how you feel.  I think I succeeded.  I am not sure.  I just sent it a few minutes ago and am now trying to calm down and wonder why I have to live in such a small, tiny, miniscule freaking world.  Is there nothing that is mine? He took my money, some of my friends, my heart, our new family, and the north side of the city.  All I wanted was this tiny corner of the internet and to find someone who would not lie to me, and not be a sociopath.  

I give up, you win.  You have everything, the fancy job, the nice apartment, lots of money, health insurance, and now JDate.  But good luck finding "smart and funny," because you had her, and you stupidly let her go.

Packing...my least favorite activity

So, I am packing my whole life into two giant sized suitcases for my move to Italy next week.  I absolutely hate packing, and this type of advanced packing sends chills of fear down my spine.  As I pack, I would like to get input from the readers about what pieces to pack, which to leave behind.

I will be working in a school with a "smart" dress code, so I will definitely need professional clothes.  Of course, though, I will be in Italy, so even my off-time clothes have to be chic.  I need things I can walk in, ride a bike in, and party in.  Obviously, I am going to need help...

This is my weekend project, so stay tuned as I post my dilemmas on the site.

Welcome

I just wanted to say hello to everyone who is reading my blog! I have so many posts in the works, and am moving to Padova, Italy next week, to begin my next adventure. My move will bring many stories, photos, much fashion inspiration and love, and some much needed free time to blog about the comedic disaster that has been my life, lately. So, stay tuned.

Starting this blog really is like showing your work for the first time...you hope people are looking, observing and reacting. If you are reading, please say a quick hello to let me know you are out there.

I Adore

I just ordered this dress (aptly named I Adore dress) by Rose from LaGarconne. Needless to say, I love this dress. I have always been a fan of dresses that appear simple from the front and have an element of surprise from the back.



This dress is, to me, perfection. If I were to design the perfect dress, this is what it would look like. The dress comes from a new line, Rose, designed by two stylists out of LA. Saks and Revolve both carry the line, and I am surprised it has not been more coveted (you can find all of the pieces on sale at both sites). I like the moody, romantic style of the line, as well as its simplicity.

I picked up another great piece from their line, a whisper-thin tee shirt with the following words written in cursive along the bottom: "he offered her the world, she said she had her own." I couldn't have said it better myself.

5 English language problems that may drive me to insanity

1. Irregardless. FYI, this is not a word. I repeat, it is not a word. And it is definitely not a word that makes you sound smart.

When you add "less" as a suffix, you are already creating the opposite of the word.

So, "Regard" + "Less" means without regard.

When you add "ir" to a word, you are creating another opposite.

So irregardless is NOT A WORD! And if it was a word, it would be a double negative word that meant "regarding!"

As an illustration:

motionless...meaning, without motion. Would you say "unmotionless?"

Or, senseless...nonsenseless?

Help a neurotic sister out, please, just say regardless, especially when you are trying to make a point and sound fancy doing so.

2. Chocolate moose. I reserve the right to be overly picky when it comes to the spelling of my favorite food. It's mousse, people, not moose. Likewise, when you are trying to have a rendezvous at a hotel room, you might want to direct your paramour to "Suite XYZ," not "Sweet XYZ."

3. I feel badly. Oh really? So you are bad at feeling? Did your fingertips wear off? Have you lost your ability to experience emotion? If you have answered no to these questions, then you just feel bad. Not badly.

4. Anything said with a midwestern accent. A roof is not a ruf. Milk is not mehlk. And when you always sound like a poor imitation of Steve Urkel, there is a good chance your accent is grating on someone's last nerve.

5. Corporate-isms. Just say what you really mean, and spare me the jargon.

• Get your ducks in a row = Get your sh*# together


• Dot your "i"s and cross your "t"s = Proofread before sending your typo-laden emails to the whole firm


• Carry the ball = Stop trying to get everyone else to do your work


• This is your baby = I want you to feel like the intern-level work (i.e., making copies) you're doing is important, so I am equating it to something precious and life-changing, like a BABY.


• Dynamic, fast-paced environment = You will work with stressed-out, mean, miserable people and have to suck it up


• Team work = Pick up the slack for your lesser-abled co-workers, who probably have a better title and bigger pay check

Give me, give me, give me

As a holiday gift to myself, I am pretend-buying these J. Dauphin leather leggings, which I am in loooove with, to wear with all of my hippie-ish tops and dresses. (Available at Amelie Boutique and La Garconne)


In my pretend world, I am wearing my extensive wardrobe of Iben Hoej tops and dresses with said pants. Welcome Hunters has a limited selection of Iben Hoej items, but for the full idea of the line's gloriousness, check out the website.